Loneliness

It's been a while since my last blog. A fair amount has happened. I spent four days without small child while her dad was back in town. Normally I'd soak up that time with V, but with that no longer an option, I spent a good deal of time watching Will and Grace seasons 1 through 6. I did have one day of catching up with friends, which was lovely. Mostly through, I was just plain lonely.

My two girls next door have broken up, with Heidi going back to NSW tonight. It's very sad, not only because I'm losing a buddy to hang with, but for the two of them and what they're going through. Small child and I will miss her terribly.

I've been listening to Alice In Chains a lot. Reminds me of V, especially Nutshell, which played the first time we were together. He and I got together under the worst of circumstances, and yet we were somehow able to make something beautiful. I cry when I hear the song, but it's a good cry. Not so much sad as... reminiscent...

We did end up spending some quality time together last night, and he came for dinner tonight. My hope is strong, and after talking to his best friend Shaun, I know that my trust is not being wasted. He talked of looking for a new job, and my fingers and toes are crossed for him. I hope he can find something he can get excited about. Secretly I'm hoping for a job with better hours! 4am to 12.30pm seems too much to ask. Pastrychef or not.

My sleeping and eating patterns are returning to normal. Now I've got to focus on my weight.