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Tuesday, February 15, 2011

An Open Letter to My Daughter

I have to open this letter with love.
I love you more than I could love anyone or anything in my whole life. You have been my redemption and my saviour, in ways you could never know, simply because you exist. I can never be grateful enough to you or for you. You keep my heart in your little hands.

My sister once gave me the only piece of advice she said i would ever need: "People are weird. Never expect otherwise." And whilst I have a few more insights of wisdom for you, they all pretty much tie back to this one little gem.

Keep learning. Always. Never stop. They say as soon as you stop learning, you stop living. You must always challenge your own opinions, and think for yourself. Some answers in life are static, and you should always strive to acquire as much general knowledge as you can, paying particular attention to language, spelling, punctuation and grammar. Language is important because it is the way we communicate with others. If you can learn even one other language, it can change your opportunities for the better. Most people like to put their heads in the sand where knowledge is involved, partly because they are comfortabe in ignorance, partly because there is a general fear and dislike of people who know more than they do. Don't buy into this. Knowledge is paramount to your growth, and that of those around you.

You will likely have inherited a high IQ (humerous self-plug there) , and that is useful only if you use your mind to think for yourself and learn to analyse things objectively. Studies have shown that overall, IQ does not lead to better jobs or a more fulfilling life. What DOES is your emotional IQ, and you will learn to develop this by hanging out with your Gran a lot. You should also use your time here to aquire virtues; Patience, Trustworthiness, Assertiveness, Detachment, Creativity, Reverence, Honesty, Peacefulness, all of the virtues will help you to develop emotionally and spiritually, which is even more important than your mental development.

Learn when to speak and when to listen. This is one of the most important lessons in dealing with people, which you'll be doing for the rest of your life. "No man is an island", and we are all inter-connected. There may be times when you might want to disconnect, out of fear or frustration or hurt, but the lesson is to surround yourself with people who bring out the best in you, who love and support you, and try to ignore those who truly don't have your best interests at heart.

When it comes to love, there will come a time when your heart gets broken. It probably doesn't help for me to tell you that it happens to all of us and that despite the pain, it does get better. So I'll say this instead: be kind to yourself, eat as much chocolate as you like, and surround yourself with platonic friends who will offer a shoulder to cry on without a hidden agenda. You are worthy of love, and you will find it again.

Follow your true passion, even if there isn't any money in it. Money doesn't buy happiness, and while it does pay the bills, your medical bills will increase if you are stuck in a job or a profession you hate. Science has proven this. Feed your soul, the rest will sort itsself out.

Don't let anyone's ego get in the way of your sucess, but do your best not to needlessly hurt people's feelings. What goes around sometimes comes around, but not always. The universe isn't fair, it just finds ways of balancing itsself out. You will be screwed over often, but you'll be able to live with yourself if you're kind to others. Don't let anyone walk all over you, either. You are your own, and answer only to yourself. If the answer isn't "yes", don't let anyone pressure you into saying it. If there's doubt, there is nothing wrong with saying no.

Treat your enemies as you would your friends. This annoys and confuses them, and they'll eventually change their tune or leave you alone. You will ALWAYS be the bigger person, and they'll hate that. And if someone "steals" a friend or a partner away from you, the best revenge is to let them keep them! ;-)

Speaking of friends, there is a common saying that "people are in your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime ". You need to determine which friends are what, sometimes even after they're gone. You'll be surprised at how many friends you make over the years. Cherish them so that they know they're important to you, cut them loose if they don't reciprocate. You're worth only the best!

Don't smoke, you'll regret it. Drink moderately. Don't listen to your friends when it comes to drugs. Or anything for that matter. Ask your mum, I'll tell you the truth.

A letter like this should always end with hope (according to A Knight's Tale, anyway). My hope is that your life is bigger and brighter than my own. I can't protect you from the perils of this life, but I will always love and support you, through anything and everything. As uncool as I am, I will always be honest with you and I will never judge you.
I hope to spend as much time with you as possible, and with advances in technology, that could be longer than expected!

I love you.

Xo Mum

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